November 28, 2011

a response to senioritis

today i was reading a post from a fellow blogger & friend,  jessica tingle.  she posted about her symptoms and how she copes with "senioritis."  and she has every right to be feeling senioritis & to want to drop everything now, because she is a senior and she has put up with college for 3.5 years, that's 2 more years than me.  even so, i am here to tell you that senioritis can be felt in a 19 year old sophomore, who in actuality only dreams about graduation.

so here is the deal: i dread going to class, i hate the work load, & i want to do what i want to do right now because somedays i can not see the point.  before you write me off as a wining, immature, & selfish girl, let me explain myself.

1)  i know that i'm very lucky to be able to go to college & invest in my education.
2)  i know there is value in a degree {no matter how minute it may seem right now in this economy}
3)  i know there is something BIGGER out there for my life that is just around the corner and it's hard to focus.
4)  and i would MUCH rather be fulfilling the dreams that God has for me than pulling my hair out over a stinkin' exam or a paper i have to write.

i'm restless, anxious, stressed out, and very claustrophobic whenever i think about my upcoming week at school.  if God were to bless me with an opportunity to fulfill His {and my} dreams & plans for my life, i would go without hesitation.  i would be out of here.  because i am so "ready" to go!
but at the same time, i know i am nowhere near ready because if i were, God would say "go."  UGH, do you see my dilemma?  so it's in times like these that i need to take a breath.  and this morning jessica helped me do just that.

i have a God that has a perfect plan for me.  and as long as i seek His will and listen to His voice, He will never lead me astray.  it's at these moments where i picture Jesus two inches away from my face with his hands on my shoulders, saying, "Yahweh" meaning "I am."  He then says, "restless child, be still, and know that i am God!"  - Psalm 46:10 mackenzie revised version {our paster always says that; except insert his name instead of mine lol} 

so jessica, i feel your pain.  for different reasons but i'm still feeling it.  thanks go to you girl, for opening up on your blog and for making me stop and think.  i know that i posted something similar to this earlier this semester on my previous blog, but i desperately needed a reminder!!
if you have issues with senioritis, link to jessica's blog in the comments or link below! 

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